Confessions of an Insignificant Pastor  CHAPTER 3: EXCERPT #1
Elijah takes a forty-day camping trip to Mt. Horeb and hides in a cave there. God comes to Elijah one day and asks him what he’s doing there. That’s a fair question. What if He were to ask you that question today? How would you answer Him? Where does Elijah’s forty-day camping excursion fit into the will of God? Is Elijah hiding from Ahab and Jezebel or is he running in fear from God’s will? What are you doing here? I don’t know what I’m doing or where I am going. Elijah is off course. He took a rest stop at wilderness highway exit #40 in Mt. Horeb’s famed, Fear Factor Cave. He is floundering. He doesn’t know what he’s doing or where he’s going at this time in his life. Who ministers to the prophet? Who coaches pastors? Elijah’s hiding out in his cave named fear. Have you visited there? Where do you hide when things get tough? How do you handle life when it doesn’t make sense? Do you hide or avoid the very thing that you fear the most? Elijah then experiences the heavy winds, the earthquake, the fire, and finally the gentle whisper of God. It’s in the quiet place that God wants to speak and give us direction. Can you hear His whisper? Are you listening for it? Elijah had been on the fast track of success and now the rug had been pulled out from under his feet. He didn’t know now where he was going or what he was doing. God tells Elijah to go back where he came from and to anoint two people to be kings and also Elisha as the new prophet to succeed him. How often has God had to tell me to go back to a point where I stepped off the beaten path of His will for me? I’ve made a left turn instead of the right turn I should have taken. I’ve run the red light or squeaked through the yellow caution lights here and there. I’ve done 50mph in a 30mph speed zone. I’ve done my share of back tracking and back pedaling. I’ve been lost and drove around in circles. When’s the last time you asked God for direction? And yes, as a misdirected man, I have even stopped or been stopped in my tracks to ask God for directions. My shortcuts weren’t always so short and often added miles and days to my journey through life. My return to God is to say to Him that I was wrong, I repent, and I agree with Your direction for my life Father God. Lord, I submit to Your leadership. I often feel like I am in over my head. I don’t feel like I know enough to do the job. I don’t feel like I am good enough of a person. I’ve made too many mistakes. Notice that Jesus didn’t pick the religious, smartest, or most gifted persons. He used the ordinary ones. When I went to college…I was in over my head. When I planted my first church…I was in over my head. When I went on staff at a church of 5,000 regular weekend attenders…I was in over my head. When I came to pastor the church in Oshkosh…I was in over my head. When I was writing my Doctor of Ministry dissertation project…I was in over my head. I doubt at times that I know what I am doing or where I am going myself let alone as the pastor/leader over my church. I often feel like the blind are leading the blind. Sometimes I am just going through the motions, spinning wheels, sitting under a broom tree, doing what I’ve done before, and faking it till I make it. I have to trust in the faithfulness and sovereignty of God. I believe God knows what He is doing even when I don’t seem to have a clue. I simply must trust God to lead me forward into His will and my destiny. I may not always be sure of myself but I do need to be sure of God. God can be trusted when my feelings cannot be trusted. He is faithful when I am not faithful. We must take faith risks. We cannot give in to complacency. Without faith it is impossible for us to please God. We cannot live our lives trying to eliminate risks. What big risk have you taken in the past year? Are you taking the safe path? Is your God too safe? What will it take for you to become firmly convinced that God is trustworthy? You have to step out to find out! You will never know what God wanted to do through you until you take the leap of faith. So what are you waiting for? The fear of failure is natural. We don’t enjoy pain. But an even greater pain is the ache of regret. No one wants to say, “I wish I would have…” | 
